As one celebrity engagement door closes, another one opens. Today, Lady Gaga confirmed that she is engaged—and no, A Star Is Born fans, it is not to Bradley Cooper. Lady Gaga is engaged to her fiancé, Christian Carino, who is a Hollywood agent. A singer-turned-actress getting engaged to a Hollywood agent? Kind of sounds like the plot to another box office hit.
Gaga has been linked to Carino since February 2017, when the two were spotted “canoodling” at a Super Bowl Party. Apparently, engagement rumors have been swirling for months, because she’s been wearing a ring on her left ring finger for a while now. This means that I’ve been really out of the loop of Lady Gaga news, because I didn’t even know she was dating anyone after she and Taylor Kinney broke up. Tbh, nothing was as good as The Fame, and you can quote me on that.
In any case, it seems as though Gaga is applying her stripped-down rebrand to all aspects of her life, because the way she announced her engagement was super subtle. On Monday, Lady Gaga was giving a speech at Elle‘s 25th Annual Women In Hollywood Celebration. During the speech, the thanked her “fiancé Christian.” That was it. No over-the-top Instagram caption, no orchestrated photoshoot, not even an official statement from her publicist. Just an off-handed comment that amounts to, “oh BTW guys I’m engaged.” Honestly, I love it.
I am here for understated engagement announcements. As a very single and extremely bitter person, I am tired of y’alls dramatic engagement announcements. I’m tired of the photos of you sucking face on my newsfeed (I don’t even want to watch two strangers give each other a chaste peck on the subway, you think I want to see you eating your fiancé’s lips memorialized forever on social media?). I’m tired of the “I’m marrying my best friend” (chill out, Peter Klaven). I’m tired of the “657 days until I marry this man” countdowns (if it’s under a year until your wedding, keep that sh*t to yourself). Basically, I’m tired of it, unless you’re going to take a page out of Lady Gaga’s playbook and be chill.
I wish a lifetime of happiness to Lady Gaga and Christian Carino for many reasons, one of them being that they managed to get engaged without being annoying. I hope they make it down the aisle—we need one good celebrity wedding this year.
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