Charlie Murphy, older brother of actor Eddie Murphy.
If you know Charlie Murphy, chances are it’s from the best couple episodes of Chappelle’s Show, where his stories about Eddie Murphy’s inner circle are the stuff of cocaine-dusted legend.
Comedy CentralNot that there was really any doubt that Rick James was batshit insane, but its still fun to hear about.
A self-admitted “hothead” who loved his younger brother, Murphy confessed to going a little way too far in his duties as Eddie’s bodyguard. As Charlie himself recalled, “There was 10,000 people laughing, and you that one joker that wanna try and squeeze a lemon. Fuck you. I don’t even want you to be there. And I took it as a personal crusade, and they were like, ‘You know what, you’re a little overzealous with your job.’ So, that is how I ended up not doing that anymore.” Understated and refined as always, Charlie.
May 19: The Man Who Literally Saved The World
Stanislav Petrov, Soviet officer.
In 1983, Petrov was working in the Soviet Air Defense Forces. He minimized his game of Minesweeper to see that five intercontinental missiles were on their way from the U.S.
Which … was bad, you see.
The protocol was to launch a retaliatory strike right away, but a voice in the back of Petrov’s head said something wasn’t right. Maybe he didn’t feel like ending the world that day. He diagnosed the warning as a glitch in the system. 23 minutes passed while the computer flashed “LAUNCH.” 23 anus-quivering minutes. And he was right! It was a glitch. Some sunlight reflected off a cloud looked sorta like a missile to their computers. The Soviets showered Petrov with praise and rewards for saving the very world itself from- haha, no, they wrote him up for making a filing error when he was doing paperwork about averting Armageddon.
Still, we’re all alive, and for that, we owe Petrov at least a solemn chest thump or two.
Check back for Part 2 tomorrow!
Justin has a fun podcast here. He also has a funny blog! Lisa-Skye is an Australian comedian. Find more of her at thelisaskye.com or @thelisaskye on the social media things.
It’s never too late to start planning for your own funeral! Check out the book Funerals to Die For for some ideas.
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